my husband is so nice to everyone but me

You are meant to be helpers to each other, not abusers. Many people believe that bipolar disorder comes with only sad depression or euphoric mania. There is something sweet and generous about helping without being asked. Without much ado, lets delve into some of the reasons your husband is mean to you and nice to everyone else. It may be your husband has blown a gasket and is leaking all kinds of pent-up emotions. You start by taking care of yourself and setting strong boundaries. He wants to improve his behavior but due to a lack of commitment on, his part, it doesnt materialize. If youre still here, I assume you found nothing concerning. My guess is your venting is about something that requires him to make a change or makes him uncomfortable. You're Always the Problem (i.e. Your friends always conveniently forget to invite you to things or seem to be hanging out when you're not around. Find a solution that works best for you and your kids (if you have any). I hate to break it to you but it is possible you have found yourself stuck with a man who cares more about his needs in life than yours. When he and his partner are arguing about their conflicting desires, he turns it into a clash between Right and Wrong or between Intelligence and Stupidity. I want him to look at me and say: because of you I didn't give up.". document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Husband Compliments Everyone But Me! There is too much emotional static in the one receiving the message. Maybe you feel that you are loved under certain conditions only, or you keep up a facade for your partner. In addition to the marked lack of empathy that narcissists display, they have a really hard time accepting emotional responsibility in a relationship. He will continue to be mean towards you if he doesnt muster enough, Most vexatious men lack a certain amount of empathy for their wives. He wants to change but lacks the commitment to do so, Your partner talks so much about treating you better or doing better by you, but seldom, follow through. My Husband Won't Talk to Me but Talks to Everyone Else - Lotibima I'm not exactly going around acting like a therapist to my friends and colleagues, but I am a good listener. Lets be honest, it feels good to give and receive compliments, and its one of the easiest ways to make new friends! Is there a reason for this or a bad sign for our marriage? My Husband Is Mean To Me And Nice To Everyone Else: My Husband Is So Nice To Everyone But Me. The Water Torturer. Image credits Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash. The person I was at 30 was ready for a long term relationship and marriage, the person I was at 22 sounds like your husband, yet I found myself in a relationship that would persist for 9 years and then end. First make it about how you are feeling. minsu i have loved you for so long and i" 16. If, your husband is fond of demeaning you to boost his ego, he likely has narcissistic, 11. Find a solution that works best for you and your kids (if you have any). 1. Some religions and cultures do not think very highly of women; in fact, they believe women, should be relegated to the background and should not be seen or heard. He treats you poorly and says unkind, things to you when you challenge him about it. Why Is My Loved One with Bipolar Suddenly Being Difficult and Unkind Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). The most obvious reason narcissists are cruel to you is their lack of empathy. Your partner might be being nice to everyone but you because he feels insecure. You love him to the moon and back, but he just treats you badly both when youre alone and in the company of your friends or family. If your husband is a water torturer he might be exhibiting these behaviors: Abusers in this category frustrates their partner but pretend like they have not been mean in any way towards their partner on the ground that their actions dont possess an iota of aggression in them. On the other hand, when you are going through challenges, he would not want the time to heal your inner wounds. You might be surprised by his reaction or what he says, you never know. Sensitive and so forth. OP, you've said you'd like to reduce your anxiety and clear your head, but you're worried about the side effects of anti-depressants. Wearing their mask or being their false self in public is exhausting. this way towards your children or people in general, maybe its time you start weighing your options and start seeing this as a marriage problem. If your husband is fond of demeaning you to boost his ego, he likely has narcissistic tendencies. These are my main concerns: He can't say no. Mom is mean to me but not to anyone else. Unsubscribe at any time. "You're being ridiculous.". I just feel that with proper treatment and therapy, your partners anger issues could become a thing of the past. This, unfortunately, led to my becoming a shadow of myself. He Acts Better Than Everyone Else. In most of these relationships, though, when a partner acts nice, it's really just that: an act. His charm was lost for me very quickly, but one thing kept bugging me: he was so kind to people who werent me so nice and charming and awesome. Building a successful marriage requires plenty of effort, and hard work. him. I even got annoyed eyerolls whenever I started talking and he was on his phone texting someone. Don't spell it out like that initially, but this is how you should be thinking about it. Outsiders don't have a glimpse at the abusers have a clever way of concealing what could lead on anyone to know their true color. "Just be nicer and we'll be OK. That's . Angela Atkinson is a certified trauma counselor and the author of more than 20 books on narcissism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and related topics. He wants to improve his behavior but due to a lack of commitment on his part, it doesnt materialize. It shouldnt make sense, but for narcissists, its all about the attention and supply they can get from others. Always maintain a calm resolve whenever he vents out his anger on you. He's not even interested in showing or receiving affection. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Atkinson offers trauma-informed narcissistic abuse recovery coaching and has certifications in trauma counseling, life coaching, level 2 therapeutic model, CBT coaching, integrative wellness coaching, and NLP. Anyhoo, once we lived together, everything changed and his true toxic face came out. So, if your needs and wants arent in line with what they believe they should be, the resentment soars. If he can empathize with others then as his wife you should definitely get some empathy from him. Lets talk about it. Answer (1 of 28): In being the devil's advocate, I fear I can see the "positive" side of your issue more than most. Is anyone else's spouse the same? But he was always dismissive whenever I raised anything about his family's behavior towards me - exclusion, derogatory remarks from his mother, pressure to give them grandchildren, etc. Why Does My Husband Never Compliment Me? - Live Bold and Bloom In a bid. He has been abused by women in the past, Your partner may have suffered many physical and psychological waves of abuse while growing, up and this may have affected how he sees the female folk. So when theyre angry with youthey literally cannot love you. Fast-forward several months, and my company decided to move me to a different town several hours away. In this category, the husband reveals a whole lot of his fears, insecurity all the time to you. Both of you were fond of each other, until a few years later all of a sudden, he changed to the opposite of who he used to be. And while things were moving fast, I kind of wondered if this guy could be the soulmate he claimed to be. Get him to seek professional help but if he is unwilling to change, Id advise you, His friends could be the instigating factor behind his meanness towards you. or situations/content involving minors. This could probably be the reason why your husband is always so vexatious towards you for one reason or the other. If I ask him to spend time with me, he always has other things to do. After realizing I was the person that everyone around me always came to for dating advice, I decided to merge this skill with my profession writing. Narcissists Are Predictable: Here's the Playbook! Get up and forget about it. The point is to make him undestand the feeling. Why Are Narcissists Cruel To You And Kind To Everyone Else? I am trying my best to dress sexy and turn him on..but nothing seems to work.he just looks at me saying that it's looks nice but that's pretty much it.Everyone in his family wants us to try . However, you need to know that his actions are carefully thought out to make things go that way. ). Sure, our partner gets to see our best side. When their act of revenge starts playing out, thats the stage you usually find it difficult to connect the dots as to their reasons behind their mean behaviors towards you. to feel among, he does and says things that are unbecoming of him. Updated: Dec. 11, 2020. . We will dig into this a bit deeper in a minute, but for now, lets talk about the psychological component that everyone forgets. Get him to seek professional help but if he is unwilling to change, Id advise you just walk away before things get awry. 13 Signs of a Narcissistic Husband (And What to Do) - LifeHack 20 Signs of a Disrespectful Wife & How to Deal With It - Marriage This could probably be the reason why your husband is always so vexatious towards you for one reason or the other. If you find that he either makes decisions without your input, or he takes a course of action without your buy in, this is a massive sign of disrespect. He Never Asks Your Opinion. Is it heartbreaking and confusing for you? When their partner complaints about their uncaring and savagery disposition towards them they often come up with lines like What the hell are you talking about Have never done anything to you. Or are they very strict about the maximum number of sessions? Top 10 Ways Men Destroy Their Marriage - PairedLife And while they dont take responsibility for their hurtful behavior, they also lack the ability to become truly attached to you in a healthy way, which further distances them emotionally from you. Our loving, open, and warm goodness. Fear of being hurt. Sadness, loneliness, and anxiety. This guide includes 19 reasons why your husband might be acting this way. 1. 10. Dear Annie: My husband is so rude to my children, waiters, cashiers (13 Ways Sex Affects Men Emotionally), Excuses to Get Out of The House to Cheat (13 Good Excuses), My Husband's Family Is Ruining Our Marriage (9 Wise Tips), Cushioning in Relationships (11 Signs You're Doing It Without Even Knowing ), My Boyfriend Accuses Me Of Everything (11 Possible Reasons), Breaking Up During Pregnancy (10 Vital Tips), Victim Mentality In Relationships (25 Signs Hes Playing The Victim), I Betrayed My Best Friend (10 Important Things).

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